The Flipkart Pricing Fraud!
Flipkart Flipkart Flipkart The Fraud The Flipkart Pricing The Pricing Pricing Fraud Fraud The Flipkart Flipkart Flipkart The Fraud The Flipkart Pricing The Pricing Pricing Fraud Fraud The
Columns

Flipkart Flipkart Flipkart The Fraud The Flipkart Pricing The Pricing Pricing Fraud Fraud The

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====

1. The Sketchy ID Made In China

Pretty much all of us stumbled across those websites when we were younger. They listed “completely authentic looking, scanning, hologram IDs.” As a young buck itching to get a sniff of the bar scene, you probably thought about how good of an idea it would be to send a substantial chunk of change anonymously to a group of offshore businessmen to manufacture you a piece of plastic that had the potential to yield you a class two felony. Some of us, of course, would give in.

For many, this is their first trip down fake ID lane. It’s a lane that is unpaved, riddled with potholes, and ends with you eventually getting smoked by an IED. It’s kind of like driving through the streets of Fallujah. This ID lives a rough life filled with condescending looks from bouncers and interrogations from liquor store clerks until its career is inevitably cut short by a club owner that got called over to check it out. While it definitely isn’t the best option as far as fakes go, it’s an experience that almost makes your earlier drinking years much more exciting.

Flipkart Flipkart Flipkart The Fraud The Flipkart Pricing The Pricing Pricing Fraud Fraud 2. Someone Else’s Real ID

After either getting fed up with not having an ID, or having your shitty Chinese abortion of a fake ripped from your clutches by the local fun police, you’re going to get a little more desperate for something useful. Something that will actually pass a hologram and scan test at a bar or a gas station. Something more legit. Lo and behold, you enter the next phase of your underage drinking conquest in attaining a real, yet pretty shitty fake.

This ID is probably something you found on the floor of Spinnakers or half buried in the sand while in PCB. That, or someone found it and tried to sell it to you like a scumbag. Either way, it’s a real ID and the person on it is the same gender as you, so you decide to add it to your arsenal.

Flipkart Flipkart Flipkart The Fraud The Flipkart Pricing The Pricing Pricing Fraud Fraud You’re gonna have some issues with this one too, like the occasional bouncer questioning whether anyone with blonde hair would be named Carlos Pardiñas Estevez Jr. The mere fact that this card actually scans and has the “impossible to replicate” features of an ID makes it money in the bank. Bonus points if it’s a state ID and not a driver’s license.

This one might carry you all the way to 21 if you can get enough liquor stores and bars on lockdown where they don’t card you anymore. You might not even hit the next option and go straight to number four. However, for those of us that aren’t so lucky and have our hilariously obvious fake IDs taken at one source or another, there’s the glorious savior in number three.

3. The Gold Standard

As far as fakes go, this one is pretty much the cream of the crop. Someone in your house that looked enough like you just graduated, and during senior send-offs they decide to gift you their ID as a token of good will. Or maybe they just tried to sell it to you for beer money. Either way, you’ve finally got yourself a decent fake.

There’s a certain amount of hubris that comes along with this kind of ID. For the first time, you feel invincible. You have the perfect fake, and you can finally live the ultimate life of a full-fledged 21-year-old while still actually having your 21st birthday to look forward to. However, like it is with almost everything in life, you get humbled.

A decent ID that looks somewhat like you will work at most, if not all college bars, where bouncers are usually also students and on the same page when it comes to what you are trying to do. When you make the mistake of taking your decent fake into the city (or worse, Vegas), it’s a completely different ball game. The linebacker is that man at the doors who are salaried to do basically nothing but look at IDs every night. The day comes where you make the mistake of handing it off to one of these guys. After the humiliation and disappointment of realizing your fake actually isn’t the shit, you are brought right back to earth and realize that you’re actually not 21 yet. Really, the only chance you have at full, non-volatile alcoholic freedom will have to wait until you’re finally 21.

Unless you have your older brother’s ID, in which case you’re a lucky shit.

4. The Real Thing

Yup, that’s right. After putting up with the stress that comes along with toting around a fake ID for a couple years, the fact that one day you are actually legally allowed to purchase and handle alcohol in public places takes a certain amount of time to sink in.

It’s different for each person. Some may have lingering fake ID anxiety for months while others have zero change transitioning from fake to 21. Either way, it marks the end of a personal era, where just getting your hands on booze was considered a sport, and it was a fun game. It can be a sentimental time for some men.

My advice for you youngins: Cherish the fake ID days. The rush that comes with manufacturing your own way of getting into the local bar or buying booze from the gas station makes the act in and of itself that much more enjoyable.

Image via Shutterstock

324

Email this to a friend

Hans Dix

Hans Dix @RealHansDix is an American college student and author. As a seasoned member of the good time club, he is eternally on the run from the fun police. He can be reached at [email protected]

Flipkart Flipkart Flipkart The Fraud The Flipkart Pricing The Pricing Pricing Fraud Fraud
D2bound 4 years ago

5. The one so ridiculously bad that the bouncers admire the set of balls on this guy and let him in anyway

JasminePerry6 4 years ago

Make 5000 bucks every month… Start doing online computer-based work through our EARNMORE9 website and start getting that much needed extra income every month… You’ll get trained by us, no prior experience needed… Find out more about it on following address… http://goo.gl/BlxO61

-133
Of Discount Get Does How A Me Marijuana Medical Card answered Muchto reply or vote on comments
How The Travel Improbable Became Symbol American Smithsonian Passport Of Identity An
  • TheFratTwin 4 years ago

    Quit trying to scare kids. The online order fake will work fine. If they’re in a college town the people who will few this usually don’t give a shit unless it’s made out of construction paper.

  • This one liquor store near my college let this kid buy alcohol after he used a Pokemon card as his ID. It’s all about knowing your options

    Flipkart Flipkart Flipkart The Fraud The Flipkart Pricing The Pricing Pricing Fraud Fraud 167
    Of Discount Get Does How A Me Marijuana Medical Card answered Muchto reply or vote on comments
    How The Travel Improbable Became Symbol American Smithsonian Passport Of Identity An
  • ‘My advice for you youngins’ = TFM now caters exclusively to the high school crowd.

    Hans meet dorn, dorn, Hans. Yall should get along just fine.

    Flipkart Flipkart Flipkart The Fraud The Flipkart Pricing The Pricing Pricing Fraud Fraud
  • sweet va breeze Flipkart Flipkart Flipkart The Fraud The Flipkart Pricing The Pricing Pricing Fraud Fraud 4 years ago

    The postgrad fake = the student ID. Using that baby for discounts everywhere as long as possible until you start getting looks for trying to pass as a 22 year old. PGP.

  • NYUFratter 4 years ago

    This isn’t even accurate. Someone else’s real ID is always preferable to the best fake.

  • Or just, ya know, get to know the doorman so he’ll give you a 21+ wristband.

  • Gamefrock69 4 years ago

    RIP ID Chief.

    Pro Tip: You can get wrist bands in a multi-colored variety for about $5 per metric ton on Ebay.

  • Europe Fake - Norway Id Uk Cards More Buy Germany In amp;
    Squid1869 4 years ago

    My buddy and I found the format for Irish ID’s online and photoshopped our pictures and info onto it. European ID’s are paperish so we just laminated it and would talk in Irish accents, very fun when you’re drunk and most people don’t know what Irish ID’s look like.

    15
    Of Discount Get Does How A Me Marijuana Medical Card answered Muchto reply or vote on comments
    How The Travel Improbable Became Symbol American Smithsonian Passport Of Identity An
  • CutiePi 4 years ago

    Flipkart Flipkart Flipkart The Fraud The Flipkart Pricing The Pricing Pricing Fraud Fraud I’m almost 26, and bouncers still look at me like I’m handing them a fake! If I had one that said I was 21 I’d probably have less trouble.

  • Flipkart Flipkart Flipkart The Fraud The Flipkart Pricing The Pricing Pricing Fraud Fraud My fake looked nothing like me but it worked for years. I got addicted to the rush of using it at new bars.

  • Fucking liberals they’re shouldn’t even be a drinking age in the field first place.

    - Award Id Beacon With amp; Mva Dl Honored Calvert Global On
  • Flipkart Flipkart Flipkart The Fraud The Flipkart Pricing The Pricing Pricing Fraud Fraud
  • Got my first ID when I was 16. It was a pink slip temporary license I got for a DWI that I wrote a fake birthday on after the cop forgot to write one on it. Then I beat the Ddub in court because the cop was black and the judge was racist. Gatta love the justice system.

  • Show Comments

    Download Our App

    Take TFM with you. Get

    The Feed

    Hey, I saw this on Total Frat Move. Check it out.